Weddingday Confessions
by JollyMolly
Summary: Based on the picture of Jane and Casey having a picnic. Jane accepts the proposal, not noticing Maura's pain. What will happen when Maura crashes the wedding? -starts as Jasey but ends with Rizzles -M for future chapters
1. Chapter 1

**Characters are not mine**  
**I first wrote this story after the picture of the picnic was published, to upload it to my tumblr.**

**Idea by ****rizzoliandislesing**

It had been almost 6 months since Casey had proposed.  
Almost 6 months since Jane Rizzoli had said yes.

They were in the park, enjoying a picnic, when Casey told Jane to open her left hand. She had feared that moment for _years_, but her lover didn't go down on his knees or asked her to become his wife. All he did was putting the ring, which was pretty subtle, in her hand.  
Jane had stared in shock.  
"Keep it", he said. "I won't ask you to marry me, I know you would say 'no' just because of the way I asked you."  
Jane's lips slowly curled into a smile. _Seems like he does know me after all, _she thought.  
"Think about it. Our lives could be perfect. I know you don't want to stay home to cook for the kids. I know you don't want to give up your job because of your family. Well, neither do I", he said with a kind smile. "You definitely need time for yourself, I'm going to be in Afghanistan a lot. I wouldn't want to leave my children in fear of losing their daddy. So no children. Just us two. And a lot of free time for you"  
He had been looking straight into Jane's eyes all the time. He'd seen the fear in her eyes, but also the smile she was wearing.  
"I'm going to be here for another week. If you decide until then I would be happy to know. If you don't, please call me once you did."  
Jane was still in shock. Yet she was happy. She closed her hand around the ring, before she put it into a safe pocket of the bag she had brought with her.  
Without saying a word she climbed onto Casey's lab, put her hands each side of his face and kissed him.  
She couldn't believe what just happened.

He took her out for dinner that day and Jane asked him to stay for the night. They made love that night, at least that's what Casey said he was doing.  
Jane was laying beneath him, lost in her thoughts, not really paying attention to what he was doing to her.  
She was pulled out of her dreamlike state when Casey repeated the words 'I love you' over and over again.  
_That's it. I have to get away as soon as possible._ His confessions made her uncomfortable.  
_Shouldn't I feel good when my future-husband tells me he loves me?_  
Future-husband.  
She hadn't even said yes. She got lost in thoughts again until Casey finished and lied down next to her.  
_Good thing I never was one to make noises while having sex._ It would have been embarrassing to explain that she didn't even notice him doing anything. She got up.  
"Where are you going?", he asked.  
"Have to get some air. You know, think about those things you said earlier".  
She walked over to his side of the bed and kissed him goodbye.  
Her clothes were lying all over the floor, so she had to walk around the room several times until she was fully dressed again.  
Jane got out of her apartment as quickly as she could.  
It had gotten cold outside.  
_Where the hell do I go now?_  
Jane's phone rang. It was Maura. Jane answered the call.  
"Hey Maur."  
She hoped her best friend wouldn't ask about today's events. She didn't know why, but she wasn't comfortable with the idea of telling her.  
"Jane, where are you? I was so worried."  
Jane's heart sank.  
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Maura. I totally forgot about movie night."  
She had never forgotten movie night before.  
She could feel Maura's disappointment through the phone.  
"It's ok Jane", she lied, hoping that her friend wouldn't notice the change in her breathing.  
They talked a bit more about how Jane was going to make it up to Maura, but after that everything was quiet again.  
She walked through the dark, cold night, until she decided to go to her brother. She did hate him sometimes, but she also trusted him with her life.


	2. Yes Or No

**Characters are not mine**

Jane rang the bell several times, until a very sleepy looking Frankie opened the door.  
"God Jane, do you know what time it is?"  
He was pissed.  
Then he took a closer look at Jane.  
"You look freezing. What happened?"  
His facial expression changed from angry to worried.  
He didn't get an answer.  
"Come in. I'll get you a blanket and something warm to drink."  
He stepped back to allow his sister to enter the apartment.  
She went in and that was when she realized how cold she actually was. She sat on the couch and wrapped herself in the blanket Frankie got her. She didn't say a word until Frankie sat down next to her, a cup of hot chocolate in his hands. He placed it on the table in front of the couch.  
"Casey proposed", Jane said barely loud enough for Frankie to hear. Frankie looked confused and shocked.  
"He did what?"  
"He proposed." Her voice was shaky.  
"Oh my god", Frankie said in disbelief.  
_This is bad._ He thought. _This is really bad._  
Maura had been with him a couple of days ago. She'd admitted to him that she was in love with his sister, but didn't know what to do about it. Frankie knew of the picnic Jane and Casey were planning, and he was convinced that Casey would take the opportunity to break up with Jane before he left for Afghanistan. He told the blonde and together they formed a plan on how Maura could declare her love when Jane would visit her that night.  
He already knew that Jane didn't show up at Maura's – Maura had called him, numerous times - but he would have never guessed that Casey had proposed.  
"What did you say?" He hoped for a no.  
"Nothing", Jane said, turning her head to look at her brother.  
"He told me to take my time deciding. God, it was actually perfect. The way he asked me without asking me, not putting any pressure on me."  
She looked at Frankie, silently asking him what to do now.  
"Perfect." he breathed out in disbelief.  
"But still you are not sure about it?" He hoped to get his sister to realize that she did not want to marry Casey.  
"He said we won't have to have kids. He said we could both keep our jobs and have time for ourselves alone and as a couple." Jane smiled lightly. "This is all I ever wanted, Frankie."

Jane returned to her apartment at 5 in the morning.  
Casey was gone.  
She wrote him a text message saying "Be here at 7, I cook. Love you."  
It took some time to really write that 'love you', but she was planning on marrying that man. Saying she loved him was the least she could do.

That evening, she gave him the ring and told him to put it on her finger.


	3. Announcements

**Characters are not mine  
I hope it's easier to read now, if somebody wants me to edit the first chapters please tell me.**

Maura was slightly disappointed when Jane announced that the usual family dinner on Sunday was not going to take place at her house. She loved it when all the Rizzolis where there. She loved the family that made her feel like she was part of it.  
She hoped she could be part of it officially someday.  
_  
Why would Jane want all of us to come to her apartment? My house is bigger._

She spent Sunday preparing food she would bring to Jane's that evening. She hadn't seen her friend since 3 days. Friday was a hell of work, so they hadn't had the time to chat and since Jane didn't appear at movie night, they hadn't had the time to talk at all.

She had cried all night when Jane didn't appear. Maura had planned to watch a movie with her best friend and eat ice cream. She knew that Jane's face was always covered in the sweet, cold cream after eating it. The plan had been to wipe away some of that cream with her thumb, then going on using her mouth until they kissed.

She had planned to go through all those steps tonight after everyone else had left, but the change of location made it almost impossible.

Having prepared the food, Maura searched for a dress she could wear. She wanted to look nice for Jane, but also not reveal too much skin because of all the other people that were going to be there.

She chose a knee-long summer dress, which was not very tight but still enhancing all her features. The dress was full of blossoms in different shades of pink.

She showered and used the shampoo she liked the most. It was very expensive, even for her, and she only used it when meeting Jane. After drying her hair and making a ponytail, she knew Jane thought she looked cute with her hair up, she put her makeup on. Not too much, but enough to be noticed.

She left her house early with a smile on her face. Tonight would be the night.

xxxxxxxxx

The moment she left Jane's apartment later that night the tears started falling.

She somehow managed to get home without breaking down completely. She got out of her car and walked towards her door. Unlocking it was difficult – everything was blurred due to her tears. When she finally got inside she closed the door and sank to the floor immediately.

She couldn't hold it back anymore. She sobbed loudly as the pain threatened to burst her chest open. She screamed and sobbed and used words she usually wouldn't. She was hurt. Deeply.

_She doesn't love me back. How could I've been so stupid to believe she would? How could you be so stupid Maura? You deserve every bit of pain you're feeling right now for thinking your best friend would like to fuck you. You deserve it. You fucking deserve it._

After some hours of crying, Maura tried to get back to normal. It was Monday and she had to get to work in four hours. The forced herself off of the floor to go to her bedroom, when someone knocked on the door.

She slowly opened it, hoping it was not Jane. On the other side of the door stood Frankie, clearly looking worried. Maura didn't want to talk to him. Actually she would have, she even would have loved to hug him, but the thought that he was Jane's brother was enough to make her cry again. She sent him away and went to her room.

Maura couldn't go to sleep. All she could think about was how happy Jane had looked when she announced that she and Casey were getting married. Angela's tears of happiness haunted her whenever she closed her eyes. _She would have never been this happy if it was me instead of Casey._

She heard Jane over and over again, saying "Maura, I would be so happy if you could be my maid of honor." She had agreed, faking a laugh. The more she thought about it, the worse she felt.

_I'm so dumb. Her family was so happy, how could I even think about not giving them what they want. They want Jane to have a husband, someone to protect her even though she can protect herself. I can't protect her. I'm weak. They are catholic, they would have never allowed us to be part of that family anymore, if it were us announcing our engagement._

Wait, am I still part of this family? 


	4. Pulling Away

**Characters are still not mine**

During the following weeks Maura pulled back from Jane and her family more and more.

She didn't attend the family dinners, though they still took place at her house. She just couldn't stand to see Jane. She tried to convince herself that she just wanted Jane to be happy, but it wasn't working.  
She wanted Jane to be happy with her.

Jane obviously didn't even notice that Maura was pulling back, which gave Maura even more reasons to disappear out of the Rizzoli family life.

She tried her best to be strong at work, but in the evenings she drank too much and cried for hours straight. She even went to clubs just to find someone to fuck her, so she could forget about Jane for at least some minutes. It had already been three months since the announcement, yet it still hurt like it had been yesterday.

The only Rizzoli Maura spoke to regularly was Frankie.  
She poured her heart out to him and he tried to soothe her every time she did. They even went out to eat or take a walk more than once a week. Maura started to consider Frankie her friend, and he did the same. 

xxxxxxxxxx

Frankie was concerned about Maura, so he tried to talk to Jane about abandoning her best friend like she did.  
She stood at Maura's door two hours later.

Her friend let her in, though she behaved differently than Jane was used to. There was no hug, no smile, no nothing. That was the moment Jane realized that she had left Maura behind.  
She had started to build her life with Casey and totally forgot that he wasn't the only person she should care about.

"Maura I'm so sorry", she whispered, as Maura pointed at the couch for them to sit on.  
"It's ok Jane", Maura said as they sat down. "I'm used to being forgotten", she whispered, hoping that Jane didn't hear her.

Jane put her hand on Maura's knee. She did hear what Maura tried to cover up by coughing. She hated herself for doing all of this to Maura. She ended up like she's never wanted to – abandoning her friend.

Jane's touch made Maura feel warmth she hadn't felt in weeks. Then she remembered that she wasn't allowed to feel like this because Jane didn't love her back. She didn't know what her touch made the blonde feel.

"Don't touch me!", the blonde screamed while tears were falling down her face.  
"Please don't touch me", she added quietly. It broke Jane's heart.

The brunette lifted her hand.  
"I could give you a million reasons why I didn't talk to you, but I guess none of them would excuse what I did to you. Holy shit how could I not see…." The words were stuck in her throat.  
She promised to spend more time with her best friend immediately.

After Maura's initial breakdown things started to get better.  
The blonde regained composure and the afternoon was actually fun for both of them.  
Jane talked about Angela's constant reminders that grandchildren were wished and Maura had to chuckle because she knew Jane wouldn't get kids.

"She won't get grandchildren but hey, she's got an extra daughter so she has no reason to be angry with me", Jane said while looking right into Maura's eyes. She saw the hurt there.

"Maur, you do know that you are still part of this family, don't you?", she assured her friend while stroking the blondes hand.  
"Me getting married won't change anything about being lifelong best friends forever." She smiled. Maura smiled back.

Could she and Jane have their friendship back?  
Could she live with just being friends with Jane?  
She already survived that for some years, so why should it be impossible now?

Her smile grew bigger.  
She'd do anything to get her friendship with Jane back, even if that meant not being able to be together with her the way she wanted it.

The weeks went on and Maura actually felt better, now that their friendship was returning to normal. She was still hurt, but the fun she had with her friend made it seem less painful. She successfully tried to shove the upcoming wedding as far away from her thoughts as possible.

Things were almost back to normal again.


	5. To Love Or Not To Love

**Characters don't belong to me  
Thanks for all the reviews. I know Jane is shitty since she's with Casey, but I hope you'll see her good sides soon. I really do love her.  
**

Jane had been in a hurry for the last 5 months. Shortly after they announced their engagement the whole family started to harass her with wedding stuff. What cake do you want to have, what dinner do you want to have and what should we get to drink? Of course Angela wanted to cook herself, so she was asking Jane and changing her mind several times a day.

Jane had to pick a dress, what put probably the most pressure on her. She didn't want to wear a dress. She didn't like dresses. But with Angela Rizzoli as her mother she had no other chance than doing what she was told. She had two more weeks to pick one.

They had gone through the whole ceremony already twice, but Angela found something not quite right every time. Jane just wanted to get married to make all of this stop.

She enjoyed the time she spent with Maura. When she was with her friend, this whole marriage thing didn't exist. It was just the two of them. She often thought she could actually get used to being around Maura 24/7. It was just so easy to be with her. Everything and everyone else was being hard on her. Maura was her shelter.

On top of all of that Casey moved in with her a few weeks after the proposal. That means, first of all his things moved in with her, while Casey was away for work. He came back 2 weeks ago, so he and Jane could spend one entire month together before the wedding. _Getting used to married life, _as Angela called it. Jane already missed having her bed just for her. Other than that it was great. She liked spending time with Casey and for the first time in her life she thought being married wouldn't even be that bad.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The last night before the wedding Jane stayed at her apartment alone. _It's not like he's never seen me before._ Jane thought while she got ready for bed. At least the bed would be all hers tonight. She wasn't even tired. She was not really nervous, but also not very calm. She wished Maura was there to tell her something about sleeping hormones or whatever.

In exactly that moment her phone vibrated. It was a text from Maura. "**Hey Jane, how are you feeling?**" Jane smiled. _How does she know I'm still awake? _"**Hey Maur. Can't sleep. How are you?**" They talked about their dresses, hair and makeup until both were more relaxed and getting tired.

"**Jane, one question: Do you really love him?**" The question came out of nowhere and Jane didn't know what to answer, so she wrote "**trying to crash my wedding Maur?**". She tried to be funny, but Maura was right. Did she really love him? She liked him for sure. She liked being with him, kissing him. The sex was not breathtaking, but nice. He gave her freedom and wanted to achieve the same things in life, so Jane didn't see anything wrong with marrying him.

"**Jane, come on. Be serious for once in your life.**" Jane could literally hear Maura speaking. She decided on being honest with her best friend. "**I don't know Maur. But it feels right, ok?**" Did it really feel right? It surely didn't feel wrong. Jane didn't receive an answer that night. Not that she would have noticed, after talking to Maura she fell asleep rather quickly.


	6. Decisions

**Characters are not mine  
After thinking about what all of you said, I can see why Jane seems so horrible.  
I was wondering if you guys would be interested in me writing two different endings?**  
**One dealing with Rizzles and one with Maura going on?**  
**The one with Rizzles is already written and will be published, but I could write the other one, too ;)**

Jane woke up by the noise of someone pounding on the door. _Shit_, she thought, _time to get married._ She felt sick, like really sick. Nervousness had crept its way into her mind while she had been asleep.

She opened the door to let her mother in. Angela was carrying tons of things and Jane was horrified by the thought of having no control over anything today. "I can't believe my little Janie is going to get married today", Angela said full of pride while a single tear rolled down her cheek.

This day wasn't about Jane. This day was about pleasing her family. Jane knew she only got married because her mother expected it from her. Sure she liked Casey, but she would have never gotten married without her mother telling her to. It still hurt Jane that her mother didn't care about what her daughter wanted.

Instead she put Jane, over the next couple of hours, into a dress she didn't really like, placed a huge amount of makeup on her daughter's face and did things to her hair Jane never thought were possible. When Angela finished, Jane had almost died of boredom.

She was finally allowed to look in a mirror. She couldn't believe what she saw. There was a beautiful woman looking back at her, but that was not her. She wore a white dress that was simple but interesting the same time. It was cut out enough to show some cleavage, but not enough to be considered sexy. It covered her knees and was longer in the back than it was in the front. There was an almost invisible pattern stitched upon it. It was really pretty, but didn't fit her in her opinion. Jane had so much makeup on that she barely recognized herself. This was so not her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

While Jane struggled with what her mother made out of her, Maura was facing different problems. She had talked to Frankie again the day before. With the wedding only being one day away she began to freak out.

On one hand she couldn't let Jane marry Casey, because she loved her too much to let her go and it would break her heart, on the other hand she didn't want to destroy Jane's life because she was being jealous and selfish. That's why she asked Jane if she really loved Casey. When she said she didn't know, Maura decided to act on her feelings.

She had tried to call Jane all morning to tell her they needed to talk. Jane never picked up. She even wrote over 20 text messages, but had gotten no answer on these either. She even called Angela to ask her if it was ok to come over to talk to Jane, but she was let down because "Nobody was going to see her Janie before church".

Maura panicked. She couldn't disrupt the ceremony, could she? The Rizzolis would hate her forever. She tried to call Jane again shortly before the ceremony started. She had no other choice. She had to go to the church and actively stop the ceremony. She hated herself for that already.

She didn't even care to put some makeup on. She hadn't slept all night because she was going over possible scenarios in her head. None of them contained her destroying the ceremony. She just wanted to tell Jane how she felt, and if Jane would still want to marry Casey, Maura would take her place as the maid of honor and live with Jane's choice. Doing it in front of everybody would be extremely embarrassing and horrible, for her, Jane and everyone else. Regardless of all those negative points, Maura couldn't live with not at least trying.

Her hair was a mess, her eyes were red from the night without sleep and her cheeks were tearstained. She didn't plan on crying, but now that she knew what she was going to do, she was convinced Jane would hate her. She had put on the first clothes that seemed to be comfortable. She didn't want to look sexy or even nice, she didn't even wear high heels. She was sure she looked like hell, but for the first time in her adult life she didn't care.

Crying silently she left her house.


	7. We Need To Talk

**Characters are not mine.  
Here comes the wedding. Or does it?**

Jane was being lead to the altar by Korsak. Her father didn't see the need to attempt his only daughter's wedding, but Jane was more than ok with her former partner taking that role.

While walking through the church she looked at her family and friends. The church was tiny, so only her closest friends were there, but it couldn't have been more perfect. Angela was crying since the moment she saw her daughter enter the church, arm in arm with Korsak. Her brothers and even Lydia with TJ were there, too. Frost sat next to them and smiled when Jane's eyes met his.

Jane turned her head towards the altar where Casey was staring at her in awe. Korsak passed Jane over to the groom and went to sit on his place next to Frost. "You are so beautiful", Casey greeted her while stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"Where is Maura?" Angela's voice echoed through the holy walls. Jane turned towards her mother sharply. She panicked. Maura was missing. This couldn't be real. Maura was never late. Never. How could she be late for her best friend's wedding?

Something started boiling inside her head, until it made its way into her consciousness. "Didn't she call you today, Ma?" Angela turned white. "She did", the older woman whispered. "I told her whatever happened could wait until after the ceremony" Jane couldn't belief what she was hearing. "Oh my god, Ma! What if something happened to her?" Anger mixed with worry.

Jane got her mother to give her her phone. Casey just stood there, one hand covering his face. He sure was pissed to say the least that Maura was late and even more about the drama Jane was making. Jane frantically looked through her messages. "She called me 32 times and wrote me 25 text messages." She yelled in disbelief. "Something happened to her."

"Babe", she heard her fiancé say "Why don't we just get married and look after your friend afterwards. If she called you that often she is alive, so could we please go on over here." He stressed the word please. Jane breathed in deeply. She wanted Maura to be her maid of honor. Could she do this without her? She wanted to have her by her side. Whenever something important happened in her life Maura was right beside her.

She shook her head. Casey was right, she had to be alive. She knew what Angela had done to plan this wedding and she didn't want to make her do it all again. She handed her mother the phone, asked Lydia to be her maid of honor to replace Maura and went back to Casey while Lydia was jumping up and down out of excitement.

It was also possible that Maura called to say she would be late. If she didn't reach Jane, it was more than likely for the blonde to try multiple times. Maybe her mother had made a surprise visit and Maura wanted to talk about that so urgently or maybe her sister was in hospital or whatever. There were many possibilities. Jane decided to take care of her families' wishes first, and then look after Maura.

The priest started talking but she didn't even understand what he was saying. Her thoughts were still with Maura, until Casey began stroking her hands. She returned to her wedding mentally, and soon it was time to say yes. When the priest wanted both of them to read out their promises, the door of the church opened. A tired, messy and crying Maura entered.

Jane didn't notice at first, until she heard her name being called by a broken and crackling voice. She turned towards the door. "Oh my God, Maura. You're here!" At first she smiled. _Everything was going to be perfect now_, but then Maura came closer and Jane took a better look at her friend. She opened her mouth to ask what has happened to her when Maura spoke.

"Jane, we need to talk. Now!"


	8. I'm Here

**Characters are not mine.  
I have decided to write two endings. They are going to be published the same time and will be marked depending on their content (Rizzles / No Rizzles) Just give me some time to finish them.  
Thanks for all the reviews, follows and favorites!  
But first: Time to crash a wedding!**

Jane let go of Casey's hands and went to get closer to her friend. Maura motioned her head towards the door. Jane shook her head yes, when Casey yelled "Wait! You come here late for your best friend's wedding, you look like you just got out of bed and then you want to take her out of the church in the middle of the ceremony? Whatever is so important- it can be said here and now, I think we all deserve to know why you turn up here like this!" His whole body spoke the language of anger. His muscles were flexed and his eyes were burning.

Jane looked at him with disbelief. _How dare he say this to Maura. She looks like hell. This is WAY more important than our wedding,_ she thought while grabbing Maura's arm to lead her out of the church. "No it's ok", the blonde said.

She looked around the church. Everyone was looking at her in confusion. Angela had stopped crying and seemed to be in shock instead. Frankie alone smiled. He was already enjoying the scene unfolding in front of them. He was convinced Maura and Jane were made for each other and the look of horror on Casey's face almost made him laugh out loud. He would finally see he was never good enough.

Maura looked at him obviously searching for help. She didn't know how to start. Jane looked at Frankie when he got up. She thought she was dreaming. She had to be dreaming. Her brother walked over to them and took one of Maura's hands into his. "Jane", he said while rocking forth and back on his feet. "This wonderful woman wants to tell you something." His smile grew bigger. "You know about this?" She asked her brother, her voice cracking.

"Jane", Frankie repeated. "I want you to listen to her. Don't ask any questions or make comments until she's finished. Same for all of you", he said while turning around to their family. Jane nodded, worry still written over her face. "Ok."

Maura breathed deeply in and out, trying to calm her nerves down. "That day you and Casey had that picnic", she paused for a few seconds to swallow down the lump in her throat. "I planned on telling you something that evening. But you never came to my house." She paused again. She felt uncomfortable to say the least. Her eyes were looking at her own shoes. "I then planned on telling you after our family dinner. I thought you would be at my house and the two of us would have some time alone afterwards."

Her eyes finally searched for Jane's. She expected to see anger or even hate, but all she could find in those wonderful eyes was compassion. Feeling slightly encouraged by this, she continued. "You held the dinner at your apartment to announce your engagement. So I…I couldn't stay afterwards because of Casey. Also, you looked so happy and I didn't want to make you feel bad. I went home crying and broke down once I arrived." "Maura", Jane whispered as she started stroking the blonde's hair.

Maura began to sob. "You didn't abandon me. I pulled….. I pulled away from all of you. I couldn't live with seeing you so happy when I was so hurt. The only one I talked to was Frankie." Jane quickly glanced at her brother, wondering what he knew that she didn't.

_Please don't be ill, Maura. Please don't tell me you are going to die, _Jane repeated again and again in her head. "When you came to my house, Jane", Maura went on. "And you touched me, all the pain I tried to ignore shot up again." Maura had trouble breathing now. She was so afraid of what would happen if she eventually said it out loud, but she knew this was her last opportunity. "Rebuilding our friendship was nice and I was so happy to have you back. I thought we could… we could just live on like we did."

_Please say what's on your mind Maura, you're freaking me out. _Seeing the shorter woman's tears hurt her a lot. She tried her hardest to encourage Maura to go on. Jane noticed the struggle her friend was in, so she guided her left hand to the blonde's face and began stroking her cheek to calm her down. _I'm here Maur. I'm not going anywhere. _Frankie still held Maura's hand and smiled at Jane. _He wouldn't smile if she was ill,_ Jane thought. _What's the matter with you, Maur?_

"Yesterday I realized that we can't live on like I pretended we could. I know it sounds selfish, but I can't go on being this hurt wondering about 'what if'. That's why I called you this morning. I… I didn't want to destroy your ceremony, but you wouldn't answer me and this really can't wait." Maura tried to look away, but Jane held her head in place. "If you want, you can go on with your ceremony after I finished. I am still going to be your maid of honor." Jane nodded.

She took a few seconds to look from Maura to Casey, who had turned his back towards her, to the priest, who didn't know what to do so he was playing with his hands, to her ma, who held her head in her hands and back to Maura.

"Jane, please do me a favor." Maura felt like throwing up any second. "Sure", the detective answered, still stroking her friend's cheek. "Please don't hate me. Please don't be mad at me." Jane sighed. "Maur, I could never hate you." She made sure Maura understood what she said by intensifying the eye-contact.

She waited patiently for Maura to find the courage to continue. Her heart beat was in an unhealthy stage, but she imagined Maura's to be even worse. "Jane, the reason why I am in so much pain, why I tried to call you, why I am stopping your wedding right now, is….is…." she couldn't get the words out. "I'm here Maur, I'm here", Jane whispered. Maura prepared for what was going to follow, before she finally said: "Jane, I love you. I love you so much."

To her surprise Jane didn't freak out. Instead, she pulled Maura close and hugged her. "Oh my God, Maura. You had me scared to death", she whispered while stroking her friends head with one hand and her back with the other. Frankie let go of the blonde's hand and stepped back to give the two women some space in that tiny church.

"You're not mad?", Maura asked, scared. "Why should I be mad at you?", Jane answered before placing a kiss on the blonde's head. Maura's legs weren't holding her up anymore. Hadn't Jane hugged her that tightly she would have fallen to the ground. Jane turned towards her family and Casey. "I'm going to be out with her for some minutes. Be right back", she said before untangling Maura from her to be able to walk. Before they had left the church she heard Casey growl.

Even though it was autumn it was a nice day and the sun was shining upon the women. Jane pointed towards a bench a couple of meters away. Maura nodded before following the bride and sitting down next to her. It was only in that moment that she noticed the huge stain she'd left on Jane's dress. "I'm so sorry", she said, running her fingers over the wet fabric. Jane smiled kindly. "Doesn't matter. I'm not going to need it anyway." Maura looked up to her in shock.

"What?" Jane laughed. "Do you really think I would ever hurt you like this intentionally?" She took the blonde's hands into hers. "I like Casey, but I love you." Maura smiled when she recognized her own words coming out of Jane's mouth. "Maur, you're the most important person in my life. Nothing's worth seeing you that hurt", she said while a few more tears ran down the other woman's face.

Jane giggled a little. "I would like to tell you how beautiful you are even without makeup on, but seriously Maur, you're a mess." Maura chuckled, too. "What about you Jane? What's that stuff in your face? And your hair…. Did Angela do that to you?" Giggles turned into laughter. "I know, right, I look horrible." Jane shook her head before standing up. "Time to tell the guest that the party is over. We will talk about all of this later. Seems like you did crash my wedding after all".


	9. Of Course I Love Her

**Characters are not mine.**

I'm sorry that it took so long to write this. There will be one more chapter that suits both the Rizzles and the Not Rizzles ending, and then there will be one final Rizzles and one final Not Rizzles chapter. Of course I'll make sure you can see what chapter contains what. Thank you for your reviews, I really appreciate them.

Entering the church again was embarrassing to say the least. All eyes were on them, some looking shocked, others looking sad and one pair looking angry. "Casey, I'm-", Jane began but was interrupted by Casey himself. "What the hell, Jane? What was that? No wait, I don't want to know. Just come here again and let's get through this. This is our day!"

Jane shook her head, smiling sadly. "No it's not." Disbelief flashed through his eyes. "Can't you see? I mean look at me." She pointed at her dress. "This is not me. This day isn't about us. It's about pleasing my family." Angela gasped. "It's about adding you to this family so everyone is pleased. But there's Maura. And other than you she already is part of this family. And if I marry you now, I am going to lose her. And I can't lose her."

Casey shook his head. "But you can lose me?" Jane laughed silently. "That's not how I meant it." "Then how did you mean it?" His anger hadn't subsided. "If I say yes now, I won't lose Maura as my friend. She made that clear. If I say yes now, everyone is going to make sure she won't be part of _our_ family anymore because of what she did today.  
If I say no, we can still be together, just like before and we can work out everything. Maura wouldn't have done this if it wasn't really important to her, and your reactions -" she turned to her family before looking back at Casey "showed me that you think she had no right to do what she did. But she is part of what I see as _my _family and that gives her every right to act on her feelings without being judged. Maybe I'll say yes one day, when everyone, including you, accepted Maura as part of this family and we can have a nice wedding without interruptions. Because I think not one of us would want to remember this day as our wedding."

His face grew red. "So now we are the bad ones?" "I am the bad one, Casey. I was so wrapped up in this marriage thing that I didn't see her hurting. And she is the most important person to me. And I'm sorry, but making sure she is ok is more important to me than marrying you right now. I don't say I never will, I just need some time to talk to her. I need to think." With that she turned around.

"You can go home now, I guess. Thank you for having been here." A rough hand gripped her wrist. "You are just going to go now? Jane, I love you." She looked at his eyes, tears building up in her own. She wished she could say these words back, but she couldn't. When she didn't say a word after some more minutes, Casey left the church, leaving a confused family behind.

Jane hadn't noticed it before, but Maura was sobbing in Frankie's arms, the words _I'm sorry_ leaving her again and again. All eyes were on the blonde now. Frankie got up, holding her to his chest, protecting her from questioning looks. "I'll drive her home and take care of her." Nobody answered.

Tommy, Lydia and TJ, Frost and Korsak left too, leaving Jane and Angela behind. "I'll drive us home", the older Rizzoli said. Jane had never seen her mother like this. She couldn't read her. Her face showed no emotion what so ever. She tried to prepare herself for Angela being angry, more than she ever had been.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The car ride to Jane's apartment was silent and the brunette rubbed her hands nervously against her dress. She didn't feel bad for what happened, after what she had done to Maura it was the least she could do, but she did feel a good amount of guilt for letting down Casey and disappointing her family.

Once inside the apartment Angela helped her out of the dress wordlessly. Jane sat on the couch and after the older Rizzoli had neatly stored the dress she sat down next to her.

"Would you really just have married him because of me?" She finally asked as neutral as possible. Jane thought for a moment, picking the right words so she wouldn't hurt her mother. "I don't really know, Ma. I like him. I really do. But it's not like I would do everything to marry him. Maura asked me if I loved him yesterday, and I couldn't say yes. I agreed to marry him because it didn't feel wrong, and I know how important it was for you." Silence engulfed them once again.

"I don't know how I should feel about this." Angela stated after some very long minutes. "Of course I'm disappointed. I put so much work in all of this." Jane let her head drop in defeat. "I am angry at you for letting me do all of this if you didn't even want it."

"Ma, I already said-" she was interrupted by the now standing woman. "Jane, you either want to marry someone with all your heart or you don't. And if you don't you shouldn't even think about doing it anyway. I'm sad that you felt forced to marry him. You should know that I only want you to be happy." Jane looked up at her mother.

Had she been happy being with Casey? She couldn't remember being happy for one moment during the last few months.

"And I am proud of you, Janie." Confusion showed on the detective's face. "I'm proud of you for being loyal to Maura. And even though I am a little bit mad at her right now, you are right. She belongs to our family, more than Casey ever could. But she really could have thought about talking to you about her feelings a few days ago." The last sentence held anger again, but now Jane knew it was mostly the pointless work that her mother mourned.

"Do you love her?" Angela asked, eyes watering. "You know I only want you to be happy. And this is not what I would have wished for, but if she makes you happy, who am I to judge?" Jane was shocked. What was her mother implying there? Maura was her best friend.

"Ma, of course I love her. I've never loved somebody more. But she is my best friend. I have never thought of her as anything more than that." Angela nodded, not quite believing her daughter. One of the reasons she had been to happy about Jane and Casey marrying was that it meant Jane wasn't gay. She had always suspected something more between her daughter and Maura.

It was only now that she began to think it wouldn't be so bad if there actually was. Even though she was still angry at the ME, she also admired her courage and her will to fight for Jane. Her daughter deserved that kind of love. She took both of the younger woman's hands in hers.

"Go talk to her."


	10. Hopes and Truth

**Characters are not** mine.

**I'm sorry for the delay, I had a hard couple of days last week. This chapter is suitable for BOTH endings, and the last chapter before the endings. It's rather short but the endings will be longer!  
I know this could have been written better, but I hope you forgive me.**

When Jane arrived at Maura's she contemplated whether to let herself in or knock. She settled for knocking, hoping not to appear distant.

"Jane?" Frankie yelled from inside. "Yeah, it's me." She answered. "Come on in." He shouted. Slowly she turned the key Maura had given her all this time ago.

The sight in front of her was troubling for her emotions. Maura and Frankie sat on that oh soft couch. Actually, Frankie sat on the couch. Maura was sitting on his lap, hiding her face in his chest. Jane's first reaction was to smile. It was nice seeing her brother and Maura getting along so well. And of course it was wonderful to see Maura having a friend other than Jane. But then she remembered that it was her fault they were sitting like they did. It had been her behaviour that triggered Maura to be hurt.

"Wow. You two have really grown close, haven't you?" Frankie ran his right hand through the blonde's hair before pulling gently at it to look at her face. "I'm gonna leave you two alone now, okay? If you need me, just call." He placed a kiss on Maura's forehead before helping her get up from his lap. He then left the house, leaving the women in uncomfortable silence.

After what seemed like an eternity for both of them, the brunette went up to the couch, lowering herself down next to the Doctor. "Maur, we need to talk about this." She said gently, taking one of the blonde's hands in hers. "I know." Maura whispered. "I'm not going to run."

Silence engulfed them again, neither of them sure what to say.

"So, you love me?" Jane said, looking at her feet. Maura nodded unbeknownst to the detective. "I love you Jane. I'm in love with you."

"How did it happen?" The blonde turned towards the brunette who was still avoiding looking at her friend. "I don't know. You were always very attractive to me. One day it was more than that and it hasn't subsided since then." Jane was now rubbing her hands, clearly feeling uncomfortable. "How long?" "What?"

The brunette sighed. "How long is this going on?" Maura turned her head away again. "Maura. Please. I need to know." "Since the day you shot yourself." The detective inhaled sharply. "Maura, that was years ago." The blonde just nodded. "That's why I had to tell you before you got married." She added quietly.

"How do we go on from this?" Jane's voice was shaking with insecurity. She couldn't lose this friendship. "As long as we stay friends I don't mind any possible outcome of this situation. But I need to ask you a question. And I need you to answer it." Now it was Jane's turn to nod. "Have you ever felt something more than friendship between us? Have you ever felt something more for me?" The brunette clenched her jaw In time with her fists. She didn't move, let alone speak, for several minutes.

"Jane, you either didn't, and don't want to hurt me by saying it or you did, and think it could hurt me, too. But what hurts me the most is not knowing." The brunette nodded slowly. "I just don't know how to say this." Maura reached for Jane's hands, surprised when the detective let her touch them.

"Of course I am attracted to you, I mean how could I not, you are beautiful. But I don't know if I feel more than friendship. You are family to me, and I love you in that way. I care about you deeply, but I could never imagine being in a relationship with you." Tears were forcing their way out of Maura's eyes and over her face. "Then why did you not marry Casey?" She asked between sobs. Jane felt a pang of pain in her chest. She had made Maura cry again.

"Because I was never completely sure of marrying him. But I was sure I needed you as my best friend. I said no, because our friendship is more important to me than my relationship with him." The blonde nodded while trying not to show how hurt she really was. She didn't know why she had been so sure Jane would choose her, a relationship with her, and now her hopes shattered into tiny pieces.

"Before you ask, Casey and I haven't talked until now, but we are going to later today." Maura's eyes held so many questions, and as usual Jane was able to read them. "If he's okay with it I will stay with him. I know now that marriage is not what I want. I want you as my best friend, but I don't want to lose him either. Can you live with that?" The blonde thought for a moment. Could she? Of course she could. She would have even stayed Jane's friend if the detective was married by now. She nodded.

She then called Frankie and Jane stayed with her until her brother entered the house.


End file.
